Title: Un-Growing Pains
Author: Jordanna Morgan (librarie@jordanna.net)
Archive Rights: Please request the author’s consent.
Rating/Warnings: G.
Characters: Hughes, Edward, Alphonse.
Setting: Any.
Summary: Beware of the size tantrum that was never fully vented the first time around.
Disclaimer: They belong to Hiromu Arakawa. I’m just playing with them.
Notes: Written as a Fandom Stocking gift for Moriu. It also fills the prompt “teenagers” on my Genprompt Bingo card.


Un-Growing Pains


It had seemed like a good plan at the time… or at least, Maes Hughes thought so. Have Edward Elric pose as an average teenager who was seeking to buy alchemically-synthesized drugs, and then bust the dealer the minute the money changed hands. Enlisting Ed as his undercover agent killed two birds with one stone; Ed was getting increasingly cranky as he waited around headquarters for a new lead from Roy Mustang, and Maes needed an alchemist on his team to evaluate the drugs anyway.

And really, the scheme did work beautifully at first. Right up until the dealer realized he’d been had, and started swearing about the “little brat” who duped him.

Who’re you callin’ a flea-speck smaller than the dot of an I?”

The sound of fists against flesh was mixed with the clattering of metal, as Alphonse—who had followed behind Maes—rushed forward to drag his brother off of the criminal-turned-punching-bag.

“Brother, stop, you’ll really hurt him! …I’m sorry, Major!” Al apologized profusely, as he peeled the snarling elder sibling from his victim. “I think Ed’s still feeling kind of sensitive about what Elicia said at their birthday party…”

Maes remembered vividly. Of course, his daughter meant no harm when she remarked that Ed didn’t look any bigger since their last birthday party. And naturally, Ed knew better than to express his reaction to Elicia… but there was a young tree in the Hughes’ backyard that was itself no longer going to grow properly, after two automail limbs had unleashed the full force of Ed’s adolescent rage against it.

Now Maes could only bury his face in his hands and shake his head—and resolve that the very minute he got home, he was going to beg his little Elicia to never, ever become a teenager.

© 2014 Jordanna Morgan