Title: Tummy Ache
Author: Jordanna Morgan (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Archive Rights: Please request the author’s consent.
Rating/Warnings: PG for fantasy-violence roughhousing and dark humor.
Characters: Lust, Gluttony, Envy.
Summary: Lust wants to know why her Gluttony has a tummy ache.
Disclaimer: They belong to Hiromu Arakawa. I’m just playing with them.
Notes: Completely absurd, random ridiculousness, inspired by a prompt at Comment Fic.
“Lust, my tummy hurts,” Gluttony whimpered helplessly. He rolled over on his back, his hands clutched to his enormous belly.
This was a first in Lust’s experience. She had seen her doting companion eat everything from a mattress to an oxcart—ox included—without so much as a gurgle from whatever constituted his innards. Not even chowing down on politicians or the occasional lawyer was enough to make him turn green. Even so, he was now unmistakably in distress, and she couldn’t imagine what might have caused it.
Scowling, she turned to the other homunculi and planted her hands on her hips. “Just what have you been letting Gluttony get into while I was away?”
No one spoke. There were a few befuddled glances back and forth… and Envy squirmed just a little.
Without warning, one of Lust’s spears shot out, and the astonished Envy suddenly found himself pinned to the wall.
“Well?” Lust ground out.
Envy wriggled and clawed irritably at the protrusion that impaled him. “I didn’t think it would be a problem, alright? It was only those… those sisters. You know. Khara and Kinsey and Korina. Those little tabloid freaks that are famous for no reason. I got tired of hearing their names, so I… might have taken Gluttony out last night to have a midnight snack.”
The shapeshifter thudded gracelessly to the floor as the spear was withdrawn. Lust uttered a contemptuous snort and turned her back on him. She returned to Gluttony’s side, to make soft comforting noises and pet his belly soothingly.
“There, there. It’ll feel better soon.” She glanced over her shoulder at the other quailing homunculi, and the look in her eyes warned them that her next words were an unbreakable law.
“You will never, ever let Gluttony eat spoiled food again.”
© 2012 Jordanna Morgan